If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
