if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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