So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
