is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
