i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
