her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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