dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
