I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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