Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
