I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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