Kiss
Puke
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I AM VODKA MAN
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
