In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He kissed a someone with a penis
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I can't put those talents on a resume
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
