Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
