Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
