Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
