drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
