My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
