I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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