my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
