He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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