we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
