I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
