Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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