you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
