I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
