So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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