I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
