I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
