I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
