First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
