is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
