so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
