Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
