we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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