I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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