I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
