Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
