you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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