I'm lost and stupid without you.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
