I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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