I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just had sex on a roof
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
