he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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