Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
