Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
