She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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