using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
its not stalking. its research.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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