My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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