So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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