Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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