trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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