Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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