i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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